My experimental work from brush drawing

I used pastel and watercolor. Since I 've been sick, I didn't do extra effort in this piece.

My brush drawing from sketchbook 4

This is another study of Ruben's drawing.

My drawing from old sketchbook 1

This is my old drawing from sketchbook before taking Life Drawing.

My drawing from sketchbook 3

This is a study. I tried to use Rubens' drawing techinique.

My family 1

I have been in the States around 9 years now. I lived in Korea for 26 years. Since my life is more from Korea than from here, it is no wonder I still have a feeling of non-communication from a lot of communication. I feel like I need to explain myself since my presence is not normal for most of people here. While I am tackling with this, I realize that it is easier to look back to my parents' lives and my grandparents' lives..

My parents are like most of other Koreans. They went through Korean War when they were young. My father knows what is like living a hard life eating tree barks during the war, walking several days to get to places when he was 6,7 years old, studying for college while he was attending technical school.( They teach different subjects from what is required to study for the college.) His brother and he was accepted for the top colleges for their areas. He was only one person in his school who got accepted into the one of the ivy leagues. And his younger brother was admitted to the best law school. I wonder what were their visions and thinking in their head while my grandfather wanted them to be farmers. Their hard lives without parents in anther city when they were in middle and high school made me think that I am going through the cushy life.

My mother had a really sociable parents. Her parents, my grandparents, were really established and loved being freer life style. My mom studied dance but she didn't continue her education. I asked her about that and realized that it was better not asking that question. Her talent in dance is continued on one of my sisters and my mom put a lot of efforts for her to continue her education as a dancer from when she was 6. My sister is now works for Korean Universal Dance as a national dancer and choreographer who travels and performs around the world.

But my mom's sacrifice for the family, for her brothers, and for her children made me think a lot about it. What is definition for the sacrifice? Terms are relative and it can be interpretated differently depends on the generations, culture, languages, and personal backgrounds. What I can trace back to her life can be understood as a woman in early 1950-60s.and her parents' generation. After 1910, Japanese slowly colonized Korea. Many of Korean parents who have children made their young children get married for fearing that their daughters can conscript as console ladies for the Japanese Army. Many young Koreans fought and died in World War II with the Japanese flag on their chests. Many were captured and sacrificed as laboratory Genia pigs for the developing Japanese biological weapons.

When I went to see the Bodies the Exhibition this early year here in Atlanta, I was standing there and thinking about the Chinese political prisoners. In China and Korea, the body is the temple of your ancestor. That is why people who lived during the era of Confucianism didn't cut their hair. But why they decided to be a display which is really humiliating for their ancestor( Ancestors are the core of the Confucianism)? The sacrifice. In a Communist society, one political prisoner lowers the whole family members and relatives' social status. But they could be heroes if they sacrifice their bodies for the country.

I believe that my mom's devotion completes my good lucks in Korea. I was really lucky in certain important times when I was younger. I gained more compared to what I put efforts in them. When I was visiting Korea a couple of years ago, I was really assured that I have great parents. What is sad is that there are more things than what I could understand now. And I don't think I will fully understand as a devoted mother like she is.

This is taken when I went to New York city last year. It was nice to go back to New York city after I started going school majoring art. Rodin's works are not anatomically perfect, but he could deliver the agony of human beings. I don't think he could achieve this with technical perfection. He could find his own way to help his insight to suit better for his works. If he learned to sculpt from formal education, could he find the solution?

Another story about my background

Some of people who know about me that I was close to expatriates when I was in Korea. Since I understand the discrepancy of the cultural differences and their difficulties, I felt really bad that many of westerners in Korea had some either unpleasant time or fabulous time(good for them).

But I enjoyed spending time with them, too. They were there in Korea to make money and
party or travel. I think we literally went to bars from Monday to Saturday. Bars to underground dance clubs, Singing rooms, to bars again till we see the daylight. The last years in college, I spent my time in library more than 60 hours a week even during the vacation. Extreme.. After I came back from Canada, I started meeting really interesting people. Great time.. I witnessed a lot of exiting scenes. While partying, I met my husband in a underground dance bar. And the party went on further. He was even featured in videos for the English school as a teacher. I guess you are somebody if you are white and you are in Korea. Some of them are addicted to their celebrity status in Korea.

After I came to US. Another extreme situation went on. I was in the middle Georgia in a countryside. (People call it as a mid-size city.) I just lived in the capital city, Seoul, which is populated with 20 million people. But here I was in the middle of nowhere. Extremely bored. Libraries and the gym were my hang-out places. Macon is for the old people and church people. Everyone does the same thing at the same time of the day. Boring.

We moved to Atlanta in 2005. I felt great. More opportunities. And I started school from 2007. I guess I am in the extreme school time.

My background, my thinking

I'm from South Korea. I lived in Korea until I became 26 years old. Korea is the country which has the history of 6000 years. I'm from the somewhat smaller city of 2 million people.

I was into western and eastern philosophy from when I was in elementary school. I didn't like the weakness(or not suitable in modern days) of Confucianism since they prefer sons over daughters. Confucianism has taught me how to handle the people in authority. Korean language changes depends on when you talk to seniors to a friend who is one year older than me. It could be viewed as passive aggressive behavior in here if I behave in Korean ways sometimes.

A lot of my deep thinking is from Buddhism. I denied Buddhism since I grew up with Catholicism. But Buddhism is part of my life and Koreans. My mother was the great teacher for life lessons. She gave me insight for dealing with unfortunate incidents.

When I was an instructor and I reached the guaranteed success in a really competitive industry, I met deceitful and jealous people. One of them actually tried to harm me. One day, I had a half gas tank left in my car, but I felt like I need to go to a gas station. A worker opened my gas tank and she screamed. Someone put full of sugar in my car. ( I am not going to write how I found out who did it because it was a long story and not relevant.)

Having connection with high authority is convenient sometimes in Korea. I could ask just one word and she will have to go through the unpleasant investigation with the police. But I decided not to do this. This behavior is from Buddhism. It is not because I am stupid or weak.

On my part, I think I didn't do anything wrong to this person. I didn't even know this person. If the energy of circle stops in me, I will attract more positive energy around me in the future. I know this is contradictory idea for most of people here because of the different background and culture. The more I learn the great lessons, the more my head is down like riped rice.

My sculpture, myself

This is life size self portrait I did in 2008. Sculpting helped me to understand the form of the human body. I still want to go back to sculpt sometime in the future. Since I am majoring in Drawing and Painting, I need to narrow my area to certain area right now. But I think sculpting is ultimate way to create something in a grand scale.

I guess I tend to lose the sense of myself as a separate human beings and emerse into the environment. I change myself depends on the environment. Doing self portrait is the time for me to realize that I need to separate me from other elements in environment.

My Sketchbook

This is from last year during the winter break. I still draw from the drawings of masters, but I changed it to my style. I'm fairly new to art, and I think I need to work a lot on foundation of my drawing skill. I tried to focus on drawing without erasing because I tend to do a lot of erasing all the time.

My sketchbook

I started drawing from 2007. I had really light touch of pencil marks when I started drawing. But I overcame the fear of charcoal mark later that year. Today, I 'm going back to my light touch brush drawing with different confidence.

May 5, 2009

Gaze

This is a quick painting I did for the final. Simple goes long way.

Today's quote

"A Painter is not admirable unless he is universal. Some may distinctly assert that those persons are under a delusion who call that painter a good master who can do nothing well but a head or a figure. Certainly this is no great achievement; after studying one single thing for a lifetime who would not have attained some perfection in it? But, since we know that painting embraces and includes in itself every object produced by nature or resulting from the fortuitous acitons of men, in short, all that eye can see, he seems to me but a poor master who can only do a figure well."
Leonardo da Vinci

This is one of the paintings I did for the final of watercolor class. I used the partial drawing I did for the independence study this semester. Acrylic is fun medium and is really versatile. Because of the transparency of the way I painted, the picture didn't capture the reflection of different colors underneath. I painted about 12 different layers in some areas.

Untitled

Partial picture.

Scar

I wanted to get out of layers of transparent painting style I have been doing for a whole semester. I gained experience from the previous painting I did for the mid-term. But I wanted to do something different and I was out of time. Opaque way of applying color is another way for me to open my eyes to the new world of colors and composition. And I realized that it is exciting and enjoyed the every mimute of creating this piece.